The Hills
(From Zogger Issue 1)
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Spencer? How big of a creep can he possibly bee? I mean he goes all the way to Colorado and when Heidi keeps telling him to leave he just keeps going, ‘do you want me to leave?’ What the hell is wrong with him? And how awkward was that dinner he had with Heidi and her parents? When she made a toast to her parents and then looked at Spencer and said, ‘And that’s about it’, I almost fucking lost it. He had to feel so uncomfortable when her mom was talking about him needing to give her space. Her FUCKING MOM FOR CHRIST SAKE!! And he just sat their like a fucking R-tard thinking there was nothing the matter. He is so damn weird and creepy. But, I guess his father is a dentist to the stars so, he can pretty much do what he wants. And what in the hell was Lauren thinking sewing up that ball gown to go to a night club and meet that hairy French guy who rides a scooter and wears a scarf? That was a stellar idea. But all in all I think that the season premier was good. There are naked pictures of Audrina out on the internet so, you know what that means? There has got to be more Justin Bobby this year, which leads me to my n e new personal campaign. ‘JB-08 Spread The LoveOlution’
(From Zogger Issue 2)
Seriously, how damn funny was it when Spencer told his sister that she was making herself cry? I loved it, I love him, I love everything he stands for as a person. And then when his sister said she was gonna call their dad if he didn’t get a job… What a life they lead. I hope that Whitney goes and begs for her job back now that she works for that Nazi at fashion world or whatever bootleg fashion outlet she works at now, what a dumb bitch. And I’ll tell ya one more thing, Audrina and Heidi, I don’t like it one bit, although I did like the naked pictures of Audrina on the internet, but I digress. They are all awesome people and we are all better for having watched them make complete asses of themselves. I truly believe that before the end of the season, Brody, Spencer and my guy Justin Bobby will become best friends and have a massive gay orgy, it’s bound to happen. Remember “JB-08 Spread The LovOlution”
The Real Housewives of NY
(From Zogger Issue 1)
How bad does this show suck? These bitches are not entertaining at all. I long for the day when I can here Vicky scream about how she loves her children, or Tamara threaten to cut her son off and never do it. For fuck sake people there is a god damn Countess on the New York Housewives show. A Countess, a half queer French guy and ginger kid doing nothing at all. At least the OC Housewives got smashed all the time and were funny, these bitches don’t do anything and it sucks B-time. (that B stands for big)
(From Zogger Issue 2)
Well, these stupid bitches have done it again, very disappointing. I must say I did enjoy the fact that, that weirdo French guy Simon and his wife Had to get out of there limo and walk a few blocks to the theater after all the shit they were talking about being socially important and being on the red carpet. I just love that they had to walk like 5 blocks and then wait in line, what a bunch of jerks. And did you see their house? How trashy was that piece? What a bag of ass holes. The Countess is yet to disappoint, I can’t believe she got upset when she was introduced to the driver of their limo. What a pretentious BeeYatch, she wanted to be introduced as ‘Countess Blah BlahBlah, or whatever her name is. I really hate these bitches and there is only more to come. Great.
