When I was mowing the yard this morning I noticed my neighbor, who looks like the actor; Sam Elliot, I noticed he got a hair cut.

I wonder if he ever got the car parts back that were stolen out of his garage last week.  I wonder if he thinks I took’em.

That kid at Panda Express last night sounded very excited when I ordered the ‘New Beijing Beef’

Do I like peas?

I totally just saw up this chick’s shorts.  It’s not my fault, who lies on their back, in the grass, with their knees up and feet on the ground, swaying them in and out while wearing really short loose shorts?

I probably have cancer

Oh my god, there’s a squirrel right ahead, I hate walking by squirrels, I always think they are going to attack me.  I’m pretty sure they’ve had enough of our shit.

I would totally ask these kids to start a ‘hacky-sac circle if I had a hac. DAM!

I’m gonna buy a hacy-sac.

How many times is ‘Titanic’ gonna be on TBS this year.

Is it Tuesday?

Could I be the next American Idol?

There is goose shit everywhere

I got news for ya lady, those Lane-Bryant stretch pants aren’t gonna hold much longer, and I’m not gonna bee around to see it when it happens.  I’m out’a here.

Jesus Christ, how fucking big is this hill?  I feel like I’ve been trekking up the North side of the Andes Mountains for the past 7minutes.

If I had a pet Lion I would name him Mufasa, like in the Lion King

Am I the only one who watches ‘Bill Moyers Journal’ on PBS?

Tampons are sick.

Is that Gene Hackman?

I saw Carl Madona, the guy form news Channel 20 run a red light a few months ago.  It’s things like that that keep him from being asked to join ‘Storm Team 20’

I hate going down town with Tab because she always says she knows the owner of what ever bar you happened to get dragged to.  I don’t care if you know the owner, shut up, you’re not in charge.  I have never seen her get one free drink from anyone that even remotely looks like and owner of anything but a few STD’s

I wonder if anyone ever feeds these ducks rye bread.

You could definitely rape someone in these woods in the middle of the night.

I hope I don’t get raped.

I bet there’s tons of perverts hanging out here during the day.

When the hell did they build this deck by the water?  I was just here a few days ago, I don’t remember a deck and benches.

Dude; if this guy keeps starring at me I’m totally gonna fight him.

That’s it; I’m walking right up to him and punching him right in the face.

Oh shit, he saw me.  I’m out’a here.

That’s guy’s lucky I didn’t fuck him up.

My arm is sore, I wanna take a nap.

I should invent a never ending candle.

How far is a fathom?

What the hell?  I though I parked over here?

Oh wait, I walked here.

Dam, not I gotta walk all the way back?  This sucks.